Green Eyes
by Kasigi Omi
Summary: Sirius comes to live with James... and James finds some very interesting items in his luggage that raise new questions about their own relationship. SBRL hints of JPSB onesided


Disclaimer: JKR owns all

Notes: Written several years ago for a challenge on a website. I can't remember exactly what the challenge was, but that's okay...

Green Eyes

It was raining. Had Sirius Black been the superstitious type he would have seen it as a bad sign. However, he was not superstitious, only wet, hungry, weary and slightly scared.

While he had wanted to leave home for a good many years, he had not actually expected to do so before he had graduated from Hogwarts and gotten himself a job. As it was, he had no money save what he had been putting aside, no food, and no place to stay.

After storming out the front door of his family home after a particularly vicious argument he had wandered the streets for several hours, venting to no one in particular and not all that worried about his future. The dark clouds gathering in the sky had provided him with a much needed dose of reality. As the first drops had fallen on his unkempt hair, he had realized he couldn't stay out there forever.

This led to several minutes of blind panic. Then, like a bolt of lightening, he had become inspired. Years ago his best friend had told him that he would be there for him no matter what happened. Anything he needed, James would provide. And now he needed James more than he had ever needed another person in his life.

Holding out his wand, he summoned the Knight Bus and held tightly to his seat as it lurched across the countryside, eventually depositing him at the end of the long drive up to the Potter estate.

Sirius had visited there many times before, but he had never come for an extended period of time and wasn't sure of the greeting he would receive once his friends parents realized he wanted to stay there for the rest of the summer.

Briefly he thought of going to Remus' home instead, but he knew perfectly well that he wouldn't be allowed to stay there, considering Moony's parents weren't aware that Sirius already knew about their son. They were fairly poor as well, from what Sirius could gather. Not that Remus ever talked about his home in great detail.

Finally, unable to stall any longer, Sirius reached up and knocked hesitantly at the door. Within seconds the door was opened by an eager house elf who surveyed him with dismay. "Master Sirius is wet," she remarked, quickly ushering him into the house.

"Hey, Possy," Sirius greeted her as she fussed with his wet clothing and his one bag of belongings. "Look, I'm fine. Could you just go tell James I'm here and need to talk to him?"  
"Certainly! Right away!" the little thing squeaked and dashed off, leaving Sirius standing in the entrance hall feeling slightly awkward and out of place.

"Sirius!"

Jerked out of his recollections of the fateful argument, Sirius looked up from his shoes to watch his best mate approach, radiating confusion, worry and joy at seeing his friend.  
"Prongs," he said weakly, the true shock of his day catching up with him.

"What are you doing here? Not that I mind, of course, but I wasn't expecting to see you for another month or so."

"I left my house," Sirius explained.

James blinked once or twice in surprise, but before he could reply his mother appeared out of a nearby room, apparently drawn by their voices.

"Sirius! You poor thing! You're soaking!" Before he could utter another word he had been bustled off to the kitchen, wrapped in a towel and presented with a mug of tea.

After he had warmed up a bit, and realized he wasn't going to be kicked out, he opened up and told the Potter's about his argument with his mother. Apparently she had had some bad news and decided to take her anger out on him. Tired of dealing with it, he had shouted back, told her exactly what he thought of her and the entire family, stormed to his room and grabbed a few belongings, and then left out the front door while she screeched at him never to come back.

Grace Potter had always been fond of Sirius, and was more than happy to take him in, offering him a place to stay for the rest of the summer, and until he was ready to live on his own. Sirius was grateful beyond words and made quite sure she knew that he loved her and wished he had been born into her family, as she was more of a mother to him than his own had ever been.

Once he was sufficiently dried off, he went with James up to one of the guest rooms that would serve as his room for as long as he needed to stay. James was ecstatic that his best friend would be living with him for the rest of the summer, and probably the summer following it as well.

"This'll be great!" he enthused, helping Sirius to unpack his school robes, hanging them in the wardrobe.

"Yeah!" Sirius replied, completely happy now that he had finally realized that he never had to go home to that house again. He was busy stacking his books on the desk, enjoying the idea that this was his home now.

"We need to celebrate this, mate," James suggested, leaning his friends broom against the desk. "Maybe some ice cream?"

"Or fire whiskey!"

"Siri, you haven't even lived here a day and you're already making yourself at home enough to talk about raiding my fathers liquor cabinet."

"I'm practically another son, Prongs! They expect it of me."

"Whatever you say, Padfoot."

"I'll go get something to celebrate with. Be right back!" And with that Sirius dashed off, his growing black hair sweeping around his face as he turned.

James shook his head and continued to unpack. Thanks to their long friendship, James felt he could put Siri's things away without his direction. As he pulled out a pile of clothing a few scraps of paper slid out and drifted slowly to the floor. Gently setting the clothing on the bed, James bent to retrieve the pages and recognized the handwriting of Remus Lupin.  
Wondering why Remus had written to Sirius, and Sirius had bothered to keep the notes, James settled on the floor and looked the papers over. What he found surprised him a great deal.

_Sirius, I miss you more than I ever thought possible. Every day that passes that I don't see you is like an eternity. Surely this will prove the longest summer of my life._ Yet another read _I cannot wait until we return to school and I again am blessed with the ability to see you every day, and to sleep by your side every night. Perhaps this year we can even announce our relationship to the others and thus spend the morning hours together as well._

All of the letters were along those same lines, clearly love letters. Slowly he stood up and folded the papers, placing them in a drawer of the desk. He was hanging up the clothing in the wardrobe when Sirius reappeared with two bottles of cold butterbeer.

"Time for an impromptu party, don't you think?" he suggested cheerily.

"Actually, Padfoot, I'm rather tired. I think I'll just go to bed and see you in the morning," James replied, uncomfortable around his friend for some reason.

The jubilant face fell and Sirius couldn't conceal his disappointment. However, as he was a generally cheery individual he shrugged and said, "Another time then? We've got all summer!"

"Yeah. All summer." His voice sounded dead even to himself as he walked out of the room and back to his own bedroom where he stayed awake staring at the ceiling for hours, wondering what that weight in his stomach was.

The next morning James was somewhat recovered. He rose late in the morning and staggered downstairs to find himself some food. The sun was shining outside, and there was only a slight breeze. A perfect day for flying his broom if he ever saw one, and temporarily he forgot about the previous evening.

Upon entering the kitchen and seeing Sirius in deep conversation with his mother over some new laws being put into effect the sinking feeling returned, however, and he wondered how he would ever get his broom off the ground with a lead weight. Sirius noticed him and grinned broadly. "Morning, James!"

"Hey, Siri," he mumbled, sitting down and grabbing a piece of toast. Somehow he just didn't feel all that hungry anymore.

"What were you planning to get up to today?" Sirius asked conversationally between bites of his scrambled eggs.

"Maybe some flying. I don't know."

"That sounds like fun, but I want to finish unpacking my stuff first. Want to help? Or should I just meet you outside?"

His first instinct was to tell Sirius to do it himself. This was immediately followed by a worrisome thought. Why was he acting like this? Sirius hadn't done anything wrong, after all. Those letters were making him act peculiar, and he knew perfectly well that had it been anyone else he was feeling this way about, James would have said he was jealous. But this was Sirius. Why would he be jealous of Sirius?

He still didn't want to go back up to that room and see more love letters from Remus. Instead, he offered a compromise. "Why don't we go flying now before the sun gets up too far and it gets hot, and then come in and finish with your room?"

Sirius shrugged and grinned. "Sounds perfect to me." He added a wink that clearly meant that he was hoping to sneak that fire whiskey that evening to celebrate. James pretended not to notice.

They spent the day flying over the trees like complete lunatics, and after the initial awkwardness that appeared to completely baffle Sirius; things fell back into their old patterns again. The two of them laughed, hurled insults and contemplated new pranks for when school was back in session.

Evening seemed to come upon them suddenly, and with much reluctance they shouldered their brooms and headed back into the house, playfully shoving each other.  
For a time, James forgot that he was supposed to be annoyed with Sirius.

He remembered when he was reaching into one of Sirius' bags and came out with a pair of handcuffs and some silken rope. Sirius heard the sharp intake of breath behind him, and turned around to see James staring blankly at what he held in his hands.

_"He knows,"_ Sirius realized, finally understanding some of the distant behavior his friend had been exhibiting. "Maybe I should just finish unpacking myself," he suggested.

James nodded slowly and placed the items back where he had found them. Then he sat down on the desk chair and stared at Sirius.

Feeling uncomfortable, Sirius scratched the back of his neck, aware his face was burning. "Maybe I should just knick that fire whiskey now?"

"I think that would be a good idea," James agreed, his voice devoid of any emotion.

"Right. I'll be back in a moment then." Hurriedly Sirius slipped from the room, his hands shaking as he made his way to the cabinet where all of the liquor was stored. Fortunately he had raided the cabinet enough times in the past to be able to work it even in his state of anxious shock.

When he returned to the room, James had apparently not moved an inch. Sirius set the bottle on the desk and sat down on the foot of the bed. "So, I guess you figured it out."

"How long?" James demanded.

Sirius chuckled slightly. "Since Valentine's Day, actually. I've always hated the bloody holiday, but now it's my anniversary. I am not unaware of the irony of the situation."

"It's wrong," James suddenly said, causing Sirius to blink up at him in confusion.

"What?"

"It's wrong. You shouldn't be with Remus. It's all wrong."

Though he knew he should have told James before, Sirius had never found a good opportunity. While he felt guilty about it, he had expected his best friend to understand the situation, and why it was so difficult to tell him. To be told he was wrong, well, it was rather a rude shock.

"Look Prongs, I'm sorry. I should have told you before…"

James held up a hand to silence him. "That's not it. You shouldn't be doing this at all."

Anger began to churn deep inside of Sirius, but he valiantly attempted to ignore it. "Why is it wrong?"

"It just is. You shouldn't be with Remus. He's-," James waved his hand in the air, searching for the right word. "A creature of darkness," he finally finished.

That was the last straw for Sirius, who stood up, towering over his sitting friend. "What are you talking about? What's wrong with you, Potter?"

"I could be asking the same thing of you, Black," James shot back, standing up himself to glare at his best friend. "Why the hell would you want to get yourself involved with a werewolf?"

"I love him!" Sirius argued. "It doesn't matter that he turns into a wolf once a month! He's human the rest of the time, and you bloody well know it! If two people are happy and love each other, there is nothing wrong with it! What the hell has gotten into you?"

"I know what's gotten into you," James hissed. "And I know you like it. I bet you scream his name into the pillow every night when you let that creature fuck you."

He knew he had gone too far even before he had finished the sentence, but then it was too late and he couldn't take it back. Something shut down behind Sirius' eyes and he stepped back, suddenly cool and distant. One long finger he pointed at the door. "Leave. Leave the room now, Potter. I'm packing my things and leaving tonight. I'll sleep on the street. I'd rather do that than stay here with you."

Terror filled James at the idea of losing the one person he cared for the most and his anger evaporated. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I pushed it too far. I'm sorry."

"Go," Sirius repeated, not lowering his arm.

At seeing his apology ignored, James grew angry again himself. "If Remus loves you so much, and he's that wonderful, why don't you just go and stay with him?" he snarled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you tonight? You're acting like a jealous idiot," Sirius growled.

"Why the hell would I be jealous of you? Either of you? You two deserve each other!"

"Fuck you!"

"Don't be disgusting."

Here Sirius paused and seemed to step back and evaluate the situation. "I bet you are. I bet you're jealous. What? Upset that Remus and I have found someone, and you're still all alone because Lily Evans won't look twice at you?"

"I," but James couldn't think of a reply. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he reached out and grabbed his friend's face, pressing his lips against those of the other boy with all the passion and intensity of youth.

When he finally pulled back, they stared at each other from inches away, shock and wonder in their eyes.

"What the hell?" Sirius finally breathed, breaking the spell.

The kiss had answered several questions, but raised several more. What were they supposed to do now?

"I'm sorry," James said lamely. "Please don't leave. Forget all of this. I'll see you in the morning."

Head hanging, he left the room and Sirius could only stare at the closed door in utter bewilderment.

Not a word was spoken of that night for the rest of the summer, and it seemed completely forgotten by the start of the school year. While things had been strained for a while, their close friendship managed to survive intact, and once they were back with their friends it was easier to pretend that nothing unusual had happened.

Remus and Sirius came out and admitted to their relationship that first month. James smiled and pretended to be happy. Peter was admittedly shocked and slightly disturbed, but willing to ignore it for their sakes.

One day as James sat at the lake with the other three Marauders, watching Remus and Sirius subtly touch each other at every opportunity, he happened to glance into the water and saw there a reflection of two deep green eyes.

_"How appropriate. Green. The colour of jealousy,"_ he mused, before turning around and smiling up at Lily Evans in what he hoped was a charming way. "Say Evans, want to come with me to Hogsmead next weekend?"

It was perfect. He belonged with someone who had green eyes.


End file.
